A complete switchover: from repulsion to deep craving

Part I

Neeraj, a 20 year old guy from Delhi visited a distant cousin Saurabh in Ajmer, and stayed there for a few days. His cousin was 17 years old at that time and studying in inter first year. The last time he had seen Saurabh was when he was just a kid. But today he had grown into a handsome young fellow and already looked like a man.

They lived, played, ate and slept together for about a week. During this time, Neeraj developed a crush on him. He let Saurabh know of his crush through discreet behaviour, like putting his head on his shoulders for long while travelling on a bus and gradually, trying to brush against his crotch, making it seem casual -- as is common when two 'straight' guys flirt.

However, Saurabh did not react to any of his subtle advances. In fact, he started to maintain a distance, and would back off everytime Neeraj tried to touch his crotch. They continued to do things together, but Saurabh started to be a little aloof. He apparently did not like this, however, Neeraj was by now so much enamoured by Saurabh that he didn't notice and took it to be his initial hesitation.

Neeraj came back, and was by now already in love with Saurabh. For a couple weeks they did not get in touch with each other. Neeraj wanted to, but did not want to seem overeager to talk to him. And then one day Neeraj was going to appear on a quiz show on TV. He was excited about it, so he called him up to inform him. He was not there, and he did not return his call. Neeraj and already left a message for him. Later, when he called him again and asked him if he had seen the programme, Saurabh said no -- and he was decidedly curt about it. It was clear to Neeraj by now that Saurabh was not interested in him at all. Neeraj was amongst those guys who had started to believe, because of what was going on around them -- that all men have a sexual need for men. But this one apparently was not one of them. In fact, he was clearly repulsed. If Saurabh didn't say anything bad to him, it was out of respect for an older cousin.

After this incident Neeraj tried hard and in due course of time got over him.

Six years passed, and Neeraj's brother was getting married. Quite unexpectedly, Saurabh mother was coming to the marriage, but Neeraj never expected Saurabh to come. So, he was surprised when he was told that he had to go receive Saurabh and his mother from the station.

Neeraj was anxious about meeting Saurabh again. He didn't know how he would face him. He'd feel so awkward. He'd been imposing himself on him. Of course, the incident had also hurt Neeraj's ego -- for men's ego gets severely hurt if their advances are rejected by another man.

He tried to behave normal and distant with Saurabh at the station. But, he was surprised when suddenly Saurabh put both his hands gingerly, but in a calculated manner on Saurabh. From his interactions with other men, Saurabh could sense that this was a gesture that meant he was making advances, although Saurabh seemed to be nervous about it, and also careful about not getting his ego hurt.

However, Neeraj tried to play it safe and decided it was just a friendly gesture, and he shouldn't place any meaning to it. In any case, after being rejected like this, he was not going to let Saurabh into his life again.

All through the marriage, Neeraj kept a distance from Saurabh, while Saurabh seemed keen to interact with Neeraj. And then he left for Ajmer. Neeraj thought that was the end of it.

And then, one day he had to go to Ajmer again. While in Ajmer, he visited his aunt where Saurabh lived. There were other cousins of him too. His aunt had made a beautiful aquarium and they were all showing it to him, when suddenly Saurabh crept up behind him and touched Neeraj slightly with his crotch. It was unmistakable. And then he stood very close to him, with his crotch so placed that all Neeraj had to do was very slightly move back his hips to feel it.

Neeraj knew what was happening, but although he still liked Saurabh, who had now grown into a full fledged, handsome man, he did not want to let him into his life again, after he had rejected him once. In fact, even though they asked Neeraj to stay there for the night, Neeraj chose to stay at another relative's place.

However, Saurabh visited him regularly during the week he was there, and took him around Ajmer on his bike. He behaved like a devoted friend. Neeraj relented slightly, but he still couldn't get himself to think of a relationship with him again. he came back to Delhi.

He thought that was it. He had rejected Saurabh's advances too, and there was no way they were likely to meet in a long-long time, by which whatever Saurabh had in mind, he'd be over it too.

But then, one year after this, one day, suddenly he got a call that Saurabh was coming to Delhi to pursue his MBA.

Now, this was indeed surprising. Neeraj knew what was happening, and he was surprised how much craving for him, Saurabh had.

While Neeraj had forgotten all about his short rendezvous with Saurabh about eight years ago, Saurabh, although he initially was repulsed by the idea, had nursed a craving for him, so intense, that it persisted for eight long years, even when he, Neeraj, had continously ignored him, and they met something like a few times in those eight years. This was indeed perplexing, and by the time Saurabh came to Neeraj's house, Neeraj had now totally relented and had forgiven Saurabh.

Saurabh had even invested so much in him, as to want to come to his city to pursue his career, for the next three years. Indeed, now they could look forward to a lot.